The past two weeks have been a blur, it feels as though I have been dumped into a worm hole. A phone call changed everything in a millisecond. There’s nothing worse getting a phone call some one you love has passed away unexpectedly. The world tilted, my ears went deaf and my mind strained to understand. All I could do was cry, I was speechless, there where no words to describe the pain I felt.
It’s funny how we take those around us for granted, not really paying attention to how we feel about them and why we feel about them. How much they enrich our lives, support us and live with us here on this planet. Sitting in my living room drinking tea reading blogs about this and that political corruption, this and that Wall street orgy in greed, seems so petty and pointless, even emotionally juvenile. I used to be an activist for one cause or another, I pulled away from it in frustration, seemly like what I was doing was ineffective and a waste of time. I came to the cynical conclusion, people are fucked, selfish, self-centered, stupid, ignorant and greedy, and to hell with it all. Drop the bloody bomb, do the planet a favour.
My friend's death has given me pause, he touched those around him. He didn’t try to save the world or be self-righteous and preach to the public about how he knew what was best for them. He was just who he was. He saw people as people with their own stories, worries and pains, he respected different views on things, he gave his friendship unconditionally. As a result he impacted the world around him. In doing so he helped to create a community of people, who love and support each other in the same manner he did us. His teaching where through the way he lived and treated his fellow human. I am by no means painting him as a saint, he had his faults and he was very aware of them. In doing so he was able to accept the faults of others and take the time to try to understand them and the way the saw the world.
He left us early, the community he help to create is still there and stronger than ever.
Perhaps true activism is in the small things we do in our day-to-day lives, how we treat ourselves and those around us. Taking time to really listen and understand someone, in doing so expanding our capacity for humanity.
Maybe thinking as a community, instead as a population of people.
I don’t know, this is just a thought while I grieve. Maybe if I act with kindness and humanity towards the next person I meet, maybe just maybe that will be all they need to change how they see the world around them.
Maybe.
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